When it rains, it pours.

The last two weeks have been really stressful, so bear with me. I'm mostly just writing this blog entry to rant about the events and get it off my chest which hopefully will make me feel a little better. Maybe.

On April 13th (about a week and a half ago) I got some surprise medical bills in the mail. Deductibles from mine and PJ's last doctors appointments in Virginia on my Anthem Insurance plan. And a surprise they surely were. But not a warm, fuzzy, happy surprise. A surprise in which you are wanting to pull your hair out after seeing what the damage from the bills did to your bank account! Slightly depressing, but I coped and moved on.

Then, this week started off with a huge headache. (Warning; sort of long story)

PJ developed a rash about three or four days ago. My roommate and I checked it out and just figured it is really bad diaper rash, so I've just been dousing him with butt cream. Well, Monday while I was picking PJ up after work, his day care said he couldn't come back without a doctors note because the rash is getting worse and could potentially be contagious (understandable). I knew I wouldn't be able to get PJ in to a doctors office the next day (I JUST got PJ's medical card in the mail and haven't found a doctors office out here for him yet) but luckily I have a wonderful back up babysitter who watches PJ for me in situations like this so that I don't have to take off work.

So Tuesday I went to work, PJ went to his other babysitter, and I went to town on trying to get PJ in for a doctors appointment somewhere ASAP.

For two solid hours on Tuesday morning I called EVERY pediatrician's office in the area who accepts Medicaid (i got a list from the state) and was willing to take PJ in as a new patient. Finally, at the end of the second hour, I found one who would. I was starting to seriously stress out and got worried that I wouldn't be able to find one, but (again) I lucked out and found one in St Matthews (5 minutes from my home) and they seem like a decent place. The only catch is that they need to wait to receive paperwork from Medicaid before an appointment could be scheduled for PJ, so the earliest they can get him in is Thursday (tomorrow) and it may possibly be pushed back to Friday.

So, I call the day care provider and tell them that the back up babysitter is watching PJ and will be until I get him into the docs, then explain to them why I'm not sure exactly when he'll be able to be seen. I also explain that I can't pay them for the days that he's not there because i'm paying the back up babysitter and it'd be ridiculous for me to have to pay double childcare.

She pauses and says "well, you already paid for this week". I said "well yeah, but can't you just credit me and i'll pay less next week?" ....pause.... "just bring him in tomorrow, i mean, he was already here yesterday with it and if it's contagious the kids already probably have it." I said "are you sure? I mean, the back up babysitter has no problem watching him and if it is contagious I'd feel bad if the other kids got it" ...she said "well, i need the money and i know you can't afford double childcare". I just said "ok" and then we got off the phone.

WTF. So I have to pay double childcare for Tuesday because Monday they said I couldn't bring him, but now that I can't pay them for the days HE'S NOT EVEN THERE I can go ahead and take him in. Bologna!

Let's take a look at yesterday (Tuesday).

My Droid (cell phone) broke on Easter weekend (April 3rd?). Luckily I have Best Buy insurance so I took it in and they sent it out to get fixed. In the mean time they issued me a loaner phone (an old samsung flip phone). Well, the loaner stopped working about three days ago. It wouldn't turn on, even when I tried charging it. I didn't drop it, there is no water damage, it was not my fault. It just stopped working.

So yesterday I got a call saying that they're going to replace my Droid with a new one because the cost of repairing the broken one is too high. I get to Best Buy, give them the loaner and they get my Droid ready. They check the loaner to see if it's working and I told them what happened to it three days ago. So, what did they do? Charged me $160.50 for it since I didn't return it in the condition in which it was issued. TOTAL BS!

It's a loaner phone that was probably given out 100 times prior to me. I was tearing up at the store because that is a lot of money (especially since I was just drained from paying medical bills) for a USED, DINKY, OLD, CRAPPY LOANER phone!! Plus, it really wasn't my fault! But they wouldn't give me my Droid until I paid the fee, so I went ahead and paid ( HUGE MISTAKE! ).

I called my friend who is a Best Buy manager in Virginia and asked him what I should do. He agreed with me that I should not have been charged that ridiculous amount and that I should go back and speak with the General Manager (not just the supervisor I spoke with) to get my money back. This should be interesting.

Now, lets talk about today shall we?

Before I moved to Kentucky I filed for divorce in Virginia. I told them that I was moving, I asked them what I needed to do in order to have everything go smoothly. Their response? "Pay half the attorney charges now, you will pay the rest at the time of your court hearing. Fill out these documents, get them back to us. And understand that you will have to come back to Virginia for court in 8-12 weeks". I am ecstatic about this news, do all that I have to do to get the ball rolling, and let them do their thing.

April 16th was the last day my ex had to contest the divorce (which he didn't) which basically means we can go ahead and pick a date for my court hearing. I get an email from the attorney's office today giving me a list of things I need to do so we can move forward in the process:

1.  make your final payment to expedite your hearing, please make your payment by credit card, money order or cash.
2.  send us a copy of the parenting seminar certificate.
3. Please call us and have your witness contact our office to review the hearing questions. Our telephone number is 703-807-5800 the office is open Monday-Friday 9am-5:30pm
4. inform us with your social security number and your spouse's social security number- by phone, mail or email.

What the hell! I was NEVER told that I need to attend a parenting seminar. Suposedly it's law in the state of Virginia that I need to have that certificate to have a legal divorce if there are children under the age of 18 involved. If they had told me that I needed to do it, I would have certainly taken care of it before I moved from VA.

So now I'm waiting to hear back from the Attorney's office about what I can do since I'm in Kentucky. Having to make the other half of my payment now is TERRIBLE timing for me (med bills, stupid phone charge, etc) and stressing me out a bit also, but I've had to wait 1 year to file for this divorce and I'll do anything to be able to keep it moving.

Moral of the story.....Don't go to the doctors (no med bills). Don't have kids (no day care worries). Don’t break your phone (wouldn't be possible to be charged for a dead loaner). Don't get a divorce (or get married, that way it's impossible to have to get a divorce).

Just kidding. Sort of

The Big 2-1

Well, it's finally my 21st birthday in 12 days (but who's counting)!

 21. Already. Sheesh.

I remember on my 15th birthday thinking about how 'far away' turning 18 would be, let alone 21. But 18 passed in the blink of an eye and now 21 is here as well. I don't know what's scarier; how much has happened in my life so far or how fast it all passed. Either way, it's scary!

Most 20 year olds turning 21 (that I know anyway) can't stop talking about being able to drink legally (and trust me-I'm looking forward to this myself) but over the last couple days I just can't stop thinking about all that has taken place in my short 21 years. Specifically the last year.With all the stress I've endured, I feel like I should have grey hair and wrinkly skin to show for it by now!  And I'm sure that is coming soon enough - ick!

This past year, for me, was probably the hardest year of my life. Well, how hard of a life can a 20 year old really have? I've debated about it for a while now and decided to go ahead and share a few intimate highlights of my life recapping the 20th year:

• My (now ex) husband left me (Feburary 2009).
• I became the sole supporter (single parent) of my son.
• I left a church that was a HUGE part of  actually no, just was my life (October 2009).
• I moved to Louisville from Virginia.

But on a more than fantastic note....

• I met the man I love, admire, and adore.

Thinking back, it all seems kind of dreary. Honestly though, I'm so greatful for all the hard times because it's made me who I am today. Being able to find joy in the small things. Keeping my chin up and fighting to survive during times when all I want to do is give up hope. Gathering the strength to make hard decisions and follow through with them. Having more vigor and ambition flow in me than I ever thought possible. Being happy, even when life's circumstances tried to take that away from me. Loving deeply. Laughing tons. Truly, purely, enjoying my life. Just being me.

So, bring it on 2010/2011. Lets do it.

Cheers.

Love,
Nikki

P.S. More blog posts on Louisville and how things are going will be posted in the near future, I promise! :)

Contemplation

What is it in life that truly fulfills a person?

Is it finding 'true love'? Serving God (or being dedicated to whatever religion you practice)? Is it acquiring your dream career? Is it having wonderful bonds with family and friends? Money? Having children? Finding a hobby you love and enjoy?

I've just been mulling around contemplating tonight. Not necessarily for my life specifically, but life in general.

Everyone is different from the next (i'm sure I'd get 20 different answers from 20 different people in regards to this post if I asked for input) but ironically, one person isn't that different from the next. Right? I mean, there are 5 billion people in this world, how unique can each be (really)?

On the other hand, snow flakes fall and no two are the same (or so the saying goes). That's a stinking lot of different snow flake patterns! Even more than 5 billion I'd bet. But, how do we really know they're all different?

I'm just rambling now (shocker). Back on topic.

I guess everyone has their own perception as to what completely fulfills a person.In a way I'm sure everyone is biased and bases the opinion toward what makes them happy and content in life (I know I do).

As for me, I'm still not sure. I think it's a mix and match of a few different things but I'm still learning and searching complete happiness out for myself.

I'm just in a contemplating type mood tonight.Why I'm posting my nonsense for all the world to see, I have no idea. But good luck on your journey to happiness!

Video Gaming? Yes please!

I feel like talking a bit about video games. After all, it's a huge part of who I am. So, here we go.

A lot of folks look down upon adult video gamers deeming them as 'childish'. Saying that we need to 'grow up' and/or 'act our age'. Well, to be fair, some of adult gamers surely do! But for the most part (and from my very biased opinion), I believe that adult gamers are no less 'childish' than other people nor have the need to 'grow up' (minus those wacko's that give us adult gamers a bad wrap).

I have been faced with multiple questions as to why I enjoy video games, play in tournmanets/leagues, spend my nights (and some weekends) "locked inside playing those stupid games" (dramatic much?), etc. And more than being faced with questions, I get made fun of or mocked for doing so. /shrug shoulders

Sticks and stones people, sticks and stones!

Yes, there ARE people in this world who get addicted to video games. Their faces hardly ever see the light of day, thier relationships crumple, and most of the time they can't hold a job. But let me inform you of something (and you may need to sit down for this), there are also people in this world who commit murder and rape. Catching my gist here? Blanket statements are not your friend (in this case, anyway).

So, why do I play video games? I thoroughly, completely, most fully enjoy them!

Why do I enjoy it? Gaming (for me) is a huge stress relief and a way for me to relax at the end of a long day. What do you enjoy doing to unwind? Reading? Watching TV? Exercise? To each thier own.

What I love most about gaming though is Seasoned Gamers and the social aspect of it all. You're probably thinking "Social Aspect? Really?" with maybe a head tilt or eyeball roll thrown in. But heck yes there is a social aspect to gaming and you bet that I've made tons of friends (that I do consider close friends) online (and have never met them in real life, yet). Are there some dangers to this aspect? Of course there are. Being freinds with people online and furthermore, meeting them in person, can be dangerous. Just have a brain about it and be catious!

I've been apart of the Seasoned Gamers community for almost five years now and just this past October went to my first SG (short for Seasoned Gamers) meet up to hang out with them in real life. Since then I've been meeting more and more! They are some of the most kind, wonderful, fun people I've ever had the pleasure of getting to know and meet!

As for being a part of the leagues and tournaments, what can I say, I am a competative person. What better way to exercise this aspect of my personality? Sure, we have scrimmages and practices, but what team (sports, dance, etc) doesn't? Nerdy? Sure, why not, we can call it nerdy. But I'll bet I have just as much fun (or more) than you do when you < insert what ever team activity you're apart of here >  ! Are you rolling your eyes at me yet?

Are my only friends in the world online (SGers)? Do I isolate myself from society? Is my skin translucent because I never go out in the sunshine but instead lock myself in my gaming room to play to my hearts content? Good God no (to all of the above). One word: MODERATION. All is to be done in moderation and balance. Some people don't have such good moderation skills, but hey, who are you or I to judge what others do in thier free time. Plus, let me tell you, my 'gaming habit' is much less expensive than say going out to the bars or golfing every weekend! Say what? I can save money AND do what I enjoy and makes me happy? WIN!

I think I'm finished. And now that you are done reading this I know you feel more open, accepting, and excited about Video Gaming. No worries friend, I have free World of Warcraft trial account with your name on it (yes, all of you) < insert evil laugh here > !


Oh. Not a PC gamer? Go buy an XBOX and lets play some Halo, MW2, or L4D2. DOIET!

Kthanksbai.

P.S. Ladies, if your spouse or boyfriend plays video games a lot, I strongly encourage you to consider picking up the controller (and/or keyboard & mouse) and giving it a try for yourself! Sure it may be hard at first (it was hard for me too) and maybe you are thinking "that is so boring" but let me tell you, there is nothing funner than playing co-op games together with your partner. Instead of vying for his attention, you can have his 100% attention and make both yourself and partner that much happier and content. Just sayin'. Guys, you're welcome. I will be accepting high fives later.

P.S.S. Krimp, although your snarky request for a blog post on the topic of "How the use of vibrators has improved women's rights in America." made me laugh out loud, I just don't think it's appropriate for this blog. At least not today. Nice try though buddy.

Mommy-hood

Parenting.

24 hours a day. 365 days a year. No sick leave. No vacation. No time off, period.

The most gratifying, yet exhausting, task one will ever undergo. And I hate to call it a task. It's much, much more than that. It's the biggest learning experience I've ever endured (and still am)! I may be a mere high school graduate, but on the subject of life, I feel I have earned a Bachelors degree!

 As a proud single mom of a rambunctious two year old boy, I am currently facing a bunch of frustrations. Lets take a look at the list, shall we?

• Potty training. This is a fun (SARCASM) one. Every time I ask if he needs to use the potty i hear a snappy 'no mama!!'. I guess he's just not ready? When he needs to go number two (as we call it) he hides and proceeds to poop in his pull-up instead of telling me in time to put him on the potty. The fact that he goes and hides tells me that he knows he's 'going number two'. I know that I just need to be consistent, keep working with him, and that it'll come in time. I just feel like I'm staring up at a big mountain here.
• Eating.  It's not that he doesn't like food or that he's picky (knock on wood) but he simply refuses to eat. We'll be sitting down for breakfast/lunch/dinner and all he wants is down from the table after taking a few mouse bites of food. And this applies even when I make his favorite food!! Then, when he gets down and I'm done cleaning up dinner (of course), he comes over to me and says "I hungwy mawmy".  I try to make him stay at the table until he finishes the food  on his plate (because I know he will do what I just stated) but then he just throws a bigger fit and again, won't eat.
• Whining. I think the title explains itself.
• Temper Tantrums.  Need I say more?

These are some of the major obstacles I'm facing right now on my path of Mommy-hood. I've heard of the so-called Terrible Two's, perhaps that is the jungle we're trudging through but slowly and surely I know we'll emerge. And I'm hoping we do soon. Real soon.

Running. Or lack of, really.

The only thing that comes to mind when I think of exercise is *GROAAAANN*. But, that’s normal right? I mean, if exercise was easy (or fun) America probably wouldn’t be the country in which the most obese people live. American's are really good at doing things that simply feel good at the moment, forget that the hard stuff, we want fun and we want it now!!

Well, I decided it’s time. Time for what? To get back in shape, friends! It’s been way too long. Three years too long, actually. I used to be very active playing hockey, soccer, going bike riding, inline skating, etc. Ever since I became pregnant and had my son, though, all exercise in my life went out the window and my body is proof of that. /sigh

After reading an article titled "Yes You Can" at SeasonedGamers about how anyone can become a runner, I got motivated to get my rear in gear.

I tried (hard!) to talk myself out of going. The excuse that I am a single parent, worked all day, and was exausted didn't hack it, so I even had a conversation with myself about how my work out pants were in the laundry and I should just wait until the next day to run when I could wear them. Thanks to the article though, I came back with a rebuttal to my own argument and quoted the steps it gave for new runners:

• Step outside in whatever you're wearing.
• Run slowly.
• Stop when it feels bad.
• Walk back.
• Tell someone what you just did.

 So, I went out in my jeans and tshirt and ran. The ‘run’ (more like speed walk, then run, then speed walk more, then sad attempt to run more) was laughable at best, but it’s the effort that really counts, right? It’s the proving to myself that I do have the will power to get myself off the couch and onto the pavement so that the next time I feel weak and think that I ‘can’t do it’ I can look back and say ‘you’re wrong, you can do it, get your ass out there!’.

So, day one of running (no matter how pathetic it was) is complete!

My mind is still groaning about the thought of going again tomorrow, but hey, ‘nut up or shut up’ right? If I want my body to be looking like it did 5 years ago, it’s my gosh-darn responsibility to do something about it. /sigh. I hate when I’m right and win arguments against myself.

Grr.

Lets celebrate!

Friends and family, today I have spectacular news to share! News that made my day. No, my YEAR(s). I am so excited and so pumped! This gives me an extra reason to throw back a few beers on St Patricks day to celebrate!

Curious yet?

So, here's the deal. I currently work part-time in a very small office (it's just my boss and I). I previously shared my dilemma about this job when I was offered the position, but ultimately I decided to accept it.

My boss's father also owns his own business (they're both in the insurance industry). I am assuming my boss shared how well I'm picking up on the training, etc, with his father because today he (my boss's father) offered to fill the rest of my work week with hours at his office!! You know what this means folks, I HAVE A 40 HOUR WORK WEEK NOW! YES!!!!!!!!! I am going to survive this move. I made it! I am officially working full time.

You can imagine the stress-relief this gives me. All my bills are going to be paid! Food will be on the table every night! Gas will be in my car!!

I am an incredibly lucky girl. Not only am I extremely blessed and thankful for these opportunities, but I am happy to admit that I even look forward to work each day! I truly enjoy what I do now and I know I will in the other position as well.

Insurance industry, here I come!

Love,

Nikki

P.S. I would like to edit/update my VA(DC area) vs KY (Louisville) comparison list:

• Kentucky cars only have rear licence plates where as Virginia requires front and rear licence plates. It took me a little while to adjust to seeing vanity plates on the front of cars here.
• There are no Chic-Fil-A's in Kentucky (I know, depressing right!!) WRONG! I was totally misinformed. There are local Chic-Fil-A's. I didn't think it was possible to be more inlove with Louisville but having Chic-Fil-A's here makes it official!
• On the flip side, there are Sonic's everywhere....Score! (Virginia has zero Sonic's)
• In Kentucky, "Hi" is pronounced "Hai" and "Bye" is pronounced "Bai". (Please oh please oh please don't start picking up that accent! Yes, I just spoke to myself. On my blog. For everyone to see. /facepalm. I mean NO OFFENCE to those with the Kentucky accent, more power to ya!)
• College sports in Kentucky are a HUGE deal. In Virginia we (edited) they could care less. Pro sports for the win!
• In Kentucky, if you're in an elevator with people you betchya you're going to be expected to say Hello and make small talk. In Virginia, people avoid small talk, etc, like the plauge.
• Kentucky rush hour traffic is thirty minutes to one hour tops as opposted to Virginia's annoying, horrible, grueling, two to three hour rush hour traffic! WOOT
• In Kentucky, when people tell me thier number (or when numbers are advertised) they don't say the area code. In Virginia you always say the area code first and then the number. /shrug
• A trip to the DMV in Kentucky took me 20 minutes including recieveing a copy of my new Drivers Licence. A trip to the DMV in Virginia took me one to two hours and I'd have to wait 7 business days to get the copy of my Drivers Licence in the mail. (ghey)
• When getting a Drivers Licence in Kentucky you can SMILE for the picture. In Virginia you cannot. (seriously, I'm not kidding)