Stuck between UPS and a hard place

I came home and saw the UPS sticker on my door. Great, I missed the delivery. I’m a single mom and work full time- that means no, UPS, I will not be home during the day to sign for my packages! Of course UPS wouldn’t know that though. Even if they did they wouldn’t care, but I understand, you can't make exceptions for everyone. Perhaps one glorious day in the future I’ll be a stay at home mom (eek, more kids!?) and able to accommodate UPS’s strict schedule of week day, day time deliveries. For now though, UPS is out of luck. Or wait, I think I’m the one out of luck, I still don’t’ have my packages! Rats.

I called the 800 number from the back of my UPS stickey note to inform them of my need to come to the UPS office and pick up the packages --leaving out the whole 'I'm-a-single-mother-working-full-time-so-I-can't-be-home-during-the-day-to-sign-for-the-darn-packages' lecture. “Absolutely, we’ll hold the packages for you, just swing by Monday and they’ll be at the downtown office” the nice UPS lady from the 800 number said. Awesome!

I don’t know how it happened, but I swear there weren’t 24 hours in the day because Monday flew by and was way too short! I said all that to shamefully admit that I wasn’t able to get the UPS office before they closed. Again, rats.

Here I am on Tuesday morning dialing that 800 number again, crossing my fingers I get to talk to the nice lady I spoke to the other day (please oh please let my packages still be there!). A teenage sounding male answers “Sorry ma’me (boy does that make me feel old!) your packages were returned to the sender, you’ll have to contact the company to re ship”. Whhhhaaaaat!!!!!!!!!!!! No!!! Darn you, UPS, you win again.

See, my mom bought my son a few things for the winter and I need those clothes! I guess it’s time to call Khols and see how much they are going to rob me to have the packages re shipped. And perhaps next week I’ll just sign the back of the little UPS sticker allowing them to leave my beloved packages in front of my apartment door next to a note addressing my fellow apartment residents:

“Dear fellow Residents,

Please do not steal these packages. I know you may be tempted and I understand that. It's why you’re standing in front of my door, right? Well, they are for my little boy and he needs them so BACK OFF or I swear I will hunt you down. That, however, will take much more time and effort than me being home to simply sign for the packages that you are now tempted to steal from me, so pretty please with sugar on top for the love of God leave my packages alone! Thank you.

Sincerely,

Resident of 305”

That would work, right? I think so!