Journey: Week Two

Stop running from your problems.

"Face them head on. No, it won’t be easy. There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems. That’s not how we’re made. In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become."

I’ve been through a lot in my short 22 years in life, but if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s to be able to roll with the punches. Many times life has dealt me a ridiculous hand which has seemed unfair, unbearable, and just plain mean. In those big problems, though, I feel like I’m able to do well tapping into natural survival instincts and continue on with life. With this theme, it’s the little things I feel that I need to work on facing.

Let’s start with confrontation. Simply put, I hate it! I’ll avoid it at any cost which only ends up causing more problems. It inevitably builds resentment toward the situation/person and is a cowardly thing to do. But, who likes to go up to a person that they have angst towards and tell them things they don’t want to hear? Definitely not me, because I freeze up and choke in the heat of confrontation. I lose my words, and I’m not able to think clearly. It’s always hours later that I think “I should have said THAT”, or, “I wish that I would have said THIS”. To work toward facing this problem, I plan on writing down my feelings (which helps me tremendously when I get choked up on words) and meeting confrontation head on instead of hiding from it. Even if it means taking time to cool off, sit down, think, and re-visiting the situation hours (or days) later. Very scary, but I know I need to do it.

This brings me to my next problem: my inability to stand up for myself. If somebody hurts my feelings, rubs me the wrong way, annoys me, asks too much of me, etc, I tend to shrug it off. I suppose this goes hand in hand with confrontation, because I tend to avoid dealing with it. It can take a toll on relationships (friendship or otherwise), and the person doesn’t even know that they did anything. Eventually I’ll let it go and continue on as if nothing ever happened. Except, something did happen and I need to work toward sticking up for myself. Having a low self-esteem plays a huge part in this issue, so I’m going to try to be more confident and assertive from here on out.

I’ll end with a quote from my favorite movie. “Breathe. Just breathe.” – Danielle in Ever After


  1. I suck at all things confrontation too, except with Chris. I'm getting really good at telling my husband exactly what he did wrong. HAhaha...

  2. RIGHT! Maybe you're on to something. If I just envision everyone I talk to as if they were someone I'm comfortable confronting it could be easier.... haha!!

  3. That's right - stand up for yourself! Hope you thought about that one long and hard!!!!

  4. I dunno. There's something to be said for being able to shrug things off, if you truly can to the point of it not bothering you. Of course that doesn't mean we should not deal with issues. As far as confrontation is concerned, it's always helped me to work on finding the root of the problem. More often than not, it's just not worth the anxiety. Good for you Nikki, for sticking with this!

  5. True, Ken... it's just that I let people walk all over me and I need to a better job of not letting them. Ya know? But, I appreciate your perspective. Pick your battles, eh?